In Memoriam

Dad was always taking pictures and making people smile, so this seemed appropriate.  

My dad, Phil McCoy, had a few different nicknames, but one that really stuck was Flipper.  Other than being a play on Philip, it was a reminder of a trip to Lake Wappapello he took with Matt, me and Randy Roehrs and his boys.  We borrowed Grandpa McCoy’s boat and went out to the lake and rented a cabin in the early spring.  It was still pretty cold out, especially on the water, but it was nice to be outside with friends.

After a morning of fishing, it was time to go in for lunch.  Randy's boat started right up, but my dad was struggling in the back of our boat to get the motor going. He must have pulled about a dozen time when he finally pulled really hard and instead of the motor starting, the seat bracket broke and my dad fell into the icy water.  He splashed around like he was drowning until Randy yelled, "Phil, stand up!"  The water was less than 5 feet deep.  By the time we all got home, calls were coming in for Flipper McCoy.  It stuck.

That story reminds me a lot of all the things that I and everyone that knew dad have to be thankful for.  I’m thankful for how much he loved his family.  Matt and I never wanted for fun activities in the summer or on weekends growing up.  Swimming at the Elks, camping trips or trips down to the KC Hall were normal. 

I’m thankful for the help he gave Matt and me joining a long line of Eagle Scouts in our family – and for all the summer camps and pinewood derbies that got us there.

I’m thankful that he coached soccer and worked the chains during football games so he could be closer to us and get great pictures.

I’m thankful that Dad kept the Dollar Store and the Post Office in business with the endless care packages to Donnie, me and anyone we worked with when we were deployed overseas – and that once that ended, he started sending them to his granddaughters that weren’t in his immediate vicinity.

I’m thankful that Dad loved family so much, and that his definition of family spread out to almost anyone whom he worked with, lived near or talked to in Shop and Save.  Ask any of his friends, and they will tell you he’d do almost anything for them with practically no notice.

I’m thankful for my dad’s faith, because it gave him and us confidence that we will all be okay and that better things are coming.

I’m thankful for the 20+ years he had after beating cancer. That time let him marry Fran - who is a wonderful woman.  She absolutely brought out the best in him at every turn and made him a very happy man.

That time let him see Matt, Donnie and me grow up, marry, become successful and give him beautiful granddaughters.  It let him take the girls fishing, color with them and fill the backyard with toys and the girls with wonderful memories.

I’m thankful for the dad, grandpa and man that he was – and the friend that he will always be. 

Thank you, Pop.  We love you.


 - My dad passed away Saturday, April 28th, 2012 at 59 years old.  The picture and words above are from my speaking at his funeral mass.

Remembering Pop at the KC Lake

(From left: Fran, Norah, Dan, Ella, Donnie, Ember, Matt & Autumn)

Dad and Fran with Norah in Fresno

Norah's Race

After watching Norah get faster and faster as she ran around the house, we decided she was ready to enter her very first competitive race. While Dan and Maggie ran the event's 10K, the 1/8 mile Kid's Race for 2-5 year olds was more Norah's speed. And speedy she was! She finished in a chip-timed (very official!) 1:38.58. She was the second two-year old and the first two-year old girl. All of the training she did with Daddy to get ready really paid off :) The whole event was very cute (and hilarious to watch)! Thanks to Maggie the videographer, you can watch it to! Enjoy.

The runners... At the starting line


Running... The finish line


Congratulations on a great race!

A Story of Hope

This story begins on December 1, 2010, and is one that has taken a long time for us to be ready to share. We had just told our families that we were expecting the week before, only to learn on that day that I was having a miscarriage. I’m sure this news is always shocking, but having had a relatively easy pregnancy with Norah, I hadn’t even really considered the possibility that it could happen to me. Of course I’ve read the statistics and know that lots of women – many of whom have no increased risk factors – have miscarriages, often for no explainable reason at all. Still, when we got the news, we didn’t know how to cope. We went through a grieving process, we looked for answers, and we thanked God for the support of our family and the blessing of our precious Norah. While this experience tested our faith in some ways (how could God let this life begin if it was going to end such a short time later?), our faith is also what helped us make it through. And eventually, things did get better. Of course, there were (and are) still moments or days when the sadness comes back – the day I was supposed to be due was one of the tougher ones. But all in all, we have been able to process what happened, accept that this loss will always be part of our lives, and look ahead to the future with hope. Which brings us to December 1, 2011.

I would have expected to feel a certain sense of sadness this past December 1, as the one year anniversary of one of the hardest days of our lives. But this time I didn’t. Maybe it was my long, busy day at work that took my mind off of it. Maybe it was the huge windstorm that day that blew down our fence and caused other damage at our house that distracted me. Maybe I had just reached a point in the grieving process that days like this wouldn’t cause the same reaction anymore. Or maybe it was something else – a higher power at work. The next day, I got my answer. On December 2, we found out that I was pregnant! With that news, I knew that it wasn’t just distraction that had caused my calmness the day before, but rather God resting his hand on my shoulder and telling me that this time, a special guardian angel would be watching over us.

Of course, there were many times I forgot that sense of calmness over the next several months. As anyone who has had a miscarriage can tell you, the next pregnancy can be terrifying, especially in the first trimester. I wanted to feel nothing but hope for this new life, but there were many days that fear got the best of me. For the first several weeks after we found out, I didn’t feel pregnant, just scared that something was going to go wrong. I needed reassurance, a sign that things were okay. That sign soon arrived – in the form of morning sickness. Many doctors will tell you that morning sickness is actually a good indication that the pregnancy is progressing well. It also took away my energy to worry – since I spent most of my non-working hours in January and February on the couch. Dan has been a rock star through this all, taking on all of the load of cooking, cleaning, shopping (have you ever really smelled the inside of a grocery store?) and caring for Norah. I know that without his efforts, the house would have been a disaster and Norah would have been subsisting on stale Cheerios and granola bars for these past several months. I know I didn’t look particularly grateful as I gagged down my dinner and then went to lie in a ball on the couch, but right below the nausea and exhaustion, I was so thankful for everything that Dan was and is doing to keep our lives going. He is the best!

We finally told our parents (and Norah) about the new baby in the middle of February – nearly three months into the pregnancy. Norah has a couple of friends at school who have new siblings, so at this point she seems to be excited by the idea of having a baby brother or sister. We’re prepared for the fact that her feelings might change once she really understands what it all means. Also, like last time, we’re not planning on finding out if we’re having a boy or a girl before the birth day. We really enjoyed the surprise last time, so we’re going to do the same thing again. I’m finally starting to feel better and more energetic again, now that I’m nearing the four-month mark. And we’re finally ready to share the good news with everyone. So there it is – sometime in the first week or two of August, we’re going to welcome a new member to the McCoy family. While I’m not looking forward to the prospect of being eight months pregnant in July in Fresno, we are looking forward – more than anything – to meeting this new baby this summer. Love to all!

Christmas Program

Norah had her first Christmas program this past Friday. Her class of 2-year-olds sang a couple of songs, and Norah did very well! She was pretty interested in watching herself on the big video screen, instead of looking at the audience, but she did seem to know most of the words. She's the one in the video with the pink dress and blonde pigtails.

Happy Halloween

It's hard to believe it's almost Thanksgiving (and I'm finally getting around to posting Halloween pictures)! So, here's what we've been up to...

Norah moved into her big-girl bed a month or so ago. We kept waiting for her to climb out of her crib (which she never did), but eventually we decided it was just time to make the switch. Actually, most of the bed is still the same pieces of her crib, but the old front came off and was replaced by a toddler railing. Her favorite part about this: the new railing gives her the ability to get in and out on her own. For the most part, this has gone just fine. There have been a few occasions, however, that she has taken advantage of her new freedom and decided to get up and wander (mostly just around her room to grab a toy, but sometimes around the house).

Getting ready for the first night in the new bed

Judie came out to visit us for Halloween weekend (and just in time to watch the Cardinals win Game 7 of the World Series- on TV instead of in person). Norah had lots of fun showing her Grammy all of her toys and spending time playing, reading, and generally being silly. Grammy got to go with us to the pumpkin patch and trick-or-treating, which was a big treat for everyone. Norah really got the hang of trick-or-treating this year (or at least the I-go-up-to-your-door, you-give-me-candy part). She was still a little too shy to say "trick-or-treat," but as soon as the door opened, she would open the flap on her Mrs. Potato Head purse/candy sack and hold it out to be filled up. Since she's two, everyone seemed to find this adorable, and she got tons of candy.

On the hay ride... The perfect pumpkin (never mind that she found it at the very far edge of the pumpkin patch and shortly after this picture was taken, Norah turned pumpkin-hauling duties over to Grammy)

Mrs. Potato Head... Trick-or-Treating... Evaluating her stash

Since then, Dan and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary and Dan's 32nd birthday. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful family, and I love them very much. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Willoughby Wallaby Wazy

We bought another Raffi album on itunes. I think our goal was to at least diversify the children's songs we are hearing on a daily basis, but we may just be getting soft. It's hard to remember the last time we listened to regular radio in the car with Norah. Kristin's been doing it a lot longer than me, so if she gets a faraway look in her eyes and starts humming while you are talking to her, try to understand.

On the upside, I found the song Willoughby Wallaby Woo (listen)to be remarkably catchy, and versatile. You can really do anything with it. I'm considering using it in the work place for counseling people.

Willoughby Wallaby wate; your paperwork's been coming in late.
Willoughby Wallaby wired.... you can fill in the blank.

It's also useful for ordering at restaurants, dealing with customer service representatives on the phone and scaring away door to door salesmen.

Raffi may just be a genius.

Where's Raffi?

Norah has recently become very engaged with music, specifically children's music, more specifically children's music sung by Raffi. Maggie, Laura, and I used to listen to Raffi's music when we were kids, so we had an old tape of his that my mom had saved all of these years. Dan went on iTunes a couple of months ago and downloaded another album for us to listen to in (my) car. Thanks sweetie:) Now, our morning commute goes something like this:

(Pulling out of the driveway)

Norah: I don't like this station. Where's Raffi?
Me: So you don't want to listen to NPR this morning?
Norah: I want Raffi. Where's Raffi? (repeat until Raffi starts playing)

(A few blocks later, as the CD is ending and the player is threatening to cycle to the next CD)

Norah: Where's Raffi?
Me: I'll start him over (again)

I'll give Raffi a lot of credit- his tunes are catchy. I fell asleep last night to an endless loop of Baby Beluga playing in my head. We downloaded another album from iTunes the other day, just to add a little variety to the inevitable choice of music in the car. Now Dan can have the old CD in his car so he can join in the fun.